I struggle on my dream like everybody does. I feel I have fought for it myself for a long time. My surroundings keep telling me that I am crazy girl. But I know I am not. But universe, The God's Hand, is still quiet, I think. Shortly, I want to be a fashion designer, a goal that I've created for this long time. I still have no vision to go through the journey. The dream seems over when I become pessimistic, when 'something' very frightening goes closer to me in the middle way.
I try to remember what God has given to me these past years. Becoming semifinalist of Junior Fashion Design Competition by Arva Fashion School (2012), Oz Radio Jakarta Fashion Design Competition (2013), and Amica Fashion Design Competition (2013) was a world to me. I never won those competitions but I was just simply happy and appreciated. Moreover, I got not only many critics but also compliment (though just a little one hehehe) from Amica FDC's judges which are very useful till now. And thank God that He let me to win the third place in Samsung Fashion Design Competition last December by only His mercy.
The circumstances gets more complicated. I was very late to enroll scholarships. The only one I had applied, I wasn't accepted. Feeling sad? Absolutely. Again, it seems over. I feel that God maybe wants me to be the person like what common people's expectation instead of mine so I don't have to be tired to fight something unreal again. Probably.
By the way, the pic above is the design for the previous Amica FDC. I took a pic of it before I sent it to Amica Magazine office in the morning, which was the next 3-4 hours. I stayed up late to finish the doodle I had made in my books. I was so happy and proud. And I want to be happy like that time once again and forever. I know I will.