July 19, 2014


      ""You stupid guy. I dunno whether you pretended not to know or you really had no clue at all, about me, about us. You keep telling me to love another man but it is truly hard. Why don't you want to have me now whereas years ago you said that you wanted me in your life? I said no because I thought you were not serious. The "no" that might mean that you had to prove your affection more, since unclear sign was always unclear. But I don't regret saying that word though I have never been being your girl. Because maybe the truth is we are just an irony to each other, Honey, regardless the sweet irony upon us.

"Can I see your hand?"
      I knew you would not foresee my future. Seeing my hand for what? Oh, you really did observe my hand. You knew that I was not a skinny girl. My fingers filled by the stupid fat, making them looked like bunch of giant balloons. I should had not eaten for weeks in order to show you my beautiful fingers at their best. Maybe I should had painted them with red rose nail polish first before I met you.

"You're so beautiful."
      My cheeks fulled by silly fat. But you said that I was pretty with my big smile and chubby cheeks, with looking down a little bit shy. Silence brought me down. I didn't believe you because I didn't like my laugh in the mirror. What I always wanted were scar-less, taper cheeks with neatly-structured teeth.. and beautiful face.
     The only thing that made you frowned was my voice that always had been being my pride. "What's wrong with your voice? It's freakin' weird." You knew that words made me grumble. Nevertheless, you didn't mind to say that over and over again whenever I sang a song.
     Why? Why did you always like the thing I didn't like? And why didn't you love the thing I loved the most? How about if I loved you? You wouldn't have loved me, would you?""